I Close my eyes.....

i close my eyes,

to feel u around me,

to recall the sunny afternoons dat went in ur arms,

and silvery nights lieng besides u listening ur heart,

promising with the every heartbeat,

to be with u for every second of our meet;

promising the sky who witnessed our souls loving each other,

to never leave ur hand even when shadow of dark pondered our love;

but now , i close my eyes, i beg in tears;

to make me stand in front of my love for once,

to appologise for proving our faith false,

the love we made, a lie;

to leave him alone and taking sumone else gaurd,

breaking the promise of going old in his arms;

am closing my eyes to never open,

i say-

dat dis virus has eaten me from widin,

u would have never left me till end if told,

dats y i killed my love to save u,

and now asking not for love,

but forgiveness wrapping flowers for my death bed.....

i close my eyes ,

promising to love u even after my end.......

I dont know why am dicussing this highly sensitive issue on my blog.........few things happening around are forcing me to do so......but I am sure that if 20 reads it 19 will take it as mere shit and proceed with there life because we all know wasting 10 mins to think on this and making atleast one aware of its drawbacks could make them late to dress up for the party tonight or movie or a saloon appointment or why sumone ruin their 10 mins sleep for this uhhhhh uhhh

but.....still; i have not wasted and am glad too.......

THE FEELINGS OF THE UNWANTED:

I faught wid him-to see how it is to be on earth wid them,

he refused me many times,

gave me reasons of that land to be full of inhuman creatures,

he explained they will tear apart the sincerity ,charm from my character sketch,

he tried to stop me from entering that crowd,

where the mates of the crowd are eager to snatch another his good soul to become one like them,

but i took all as excuses,

i was fasinated by the warmth i ll get in her wobe,

place where i ll get maximum love i always crave for,

I faught with him- to see how it is to be on earth among them;

now, that i am here,

am not happy,

am scared,

i regret my decission,

i can hear them calling me unwanted,

i can hear them caling me a curse,

another born in the family as a girl,

i can hear my hear my mother appologyzing-for giving me death before life,

i wanna cry loud to them to please let me out,

i wanna shout to them that i dont know what does a girl means;

i only know am not a curse- i am god's gift ,

i wanna ask them the reason of my murder,

nobody listen's to my plead and i am dying...................

regretting to take those reasons as excuses,

regretting to fight with him for death again,

i faught with him to see how it is to be an unwanted seed in my own mother's wobe.......................

FRIENDS:

(dekhlo saaloon)

the relationship realy precious to ma heart-ma friends...................i was longing to be back home when in hostel.................but yestrerday afternoon i was telling mom ,"hostel ki yaad aa rahi hai...", goddddddd this is how ma heart feeling fluctuating........i miss u guyss,irritating kahin ke.....


i have said this thing to one of ma frnd ki these couples must not be needing anyone else when together (in hostel)BUT I WAS WRONG in capitals.......arrey frnds ki toh ek alag hi jagah hoti hai, am realizing that today sitting idle no ont to fight with no one to gossip with no on jisske saath auron ke maze le sakki.........goodd i am missin u guys saaloon...........


things i have learnt from u guys:

1. self independence


2. how imp. it is to get up early in morning.........i swear main ab jaldi uttne lag gai hoon ghar aake..


3. gain confidence.......alot,emotionally strong-is the word(s)


4. not only good stuff,,,, other sensored things i have also adopted from them and truly speaking i am truly greatfull for each one of it.........i feel complete with every aspect within me.............

there is a long list ahead to be learnt .........will be updated as with span of time..............

"our gaurdian-angels could not be everywhere to guide us when we are into some fuss---so he thought thought and thought and den his frnd came and said"jab tu kissi pange mai hota hai toh teri haelp kaun karta hai",,,god again thought this time he was quick with the ans------ h said "you" and made frnds...........who fight for you when in sum mushkil who even bribe you when they know ur secret but they defend you to heights wen ur fault is caught.........eat the chocolates which ur boyfriends gift you .......but never mind e k baari,,, sirf ek baari chalta hai................"

love you alll

and salute all those blend in this beautiful relationship of friendship........

growing under shadow of ur love:

sleeping under the shadow of your arms,

unknown to the world but believing ur embrace as my universe;

could not understand ur speech but can could feel the warmth it contain;

growing holding ur fingers;everytime making it possible clinging to ur dupatta;

imitating ur style; poise to match ur beauty;

i learnt under ur love and affection;

i grew with u as my mentor;

entering my teen with all ur advises and worries;

you always wanted me to be the best;

teasing me for my first pimple;
but then at night medicating it;

scolding me being on phone for long;

butering me to watch that boring movie;

bribing me for a trip to mall;

asking papa for my party permission,

saving me from him when i ended up late;

hugging me hard when a single drop rollled down my eyes;

making me feel brave with your strong support;

i learnt under ur love and affection;

i grew with u as my mentor;

but today wen miles away;

i regret every second i couldnt spend wth u;

missing those hugs which took away my worries;

those smiles making me filled with hope and strenght;

i miss that blanket of love with which u cover me every night;

and that brightness of my sun;

when u wake me up with smiling morning;

i learnt under the shadow our love-MOTHER;

grew taking u as my mentor...........................

i love u mumma......................miss u alot............

the dawn i left:

kissing my eyes,

rooling your lips down to touch mine;

handling so carefully;

when u wave ur hands along my arms;

trembling to be so close;

happy to be near me after so long;

i can feel how much u love me;

how much u care;

holdin my hand when strolling along dark street;

so tight as if never want to let go;

stopping in middle;

to show places u loved to be when missing me;

with eyes full of water;

i can feel how much u love me;

how much u care;

night growing with brigtht silvery moon;

stars witnessing your love;

stilling walking we wish that it should never end;

talking about all moments we spent together;

moments we fought;

moments we cried;

with thought of separation in mind;

but ignoring them;

u so close to me;

i can feel how much u love me;

how much u care ;

but now the night has ended;

the dawn arrived;

i have to leave;

but cant step ahead;

leaving ur hand;

with lips still num;

leaving behind so many things unsaid;

so many feeling unfelt;

hating to say goodbye;

hating see that tear rooling down your cheek;

i can feel how much i love you;

how much i care;

how much i so not wanna leave u;

how much am gonna miss....................

love has alwayz been a feeling which could bring happiness in anyones life.....................the only thing is we need to find what we love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!puzled !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!am not talking about only loving a guy or a gal............am talking about,finding hobby, relation that makes you come out of that dark cloud encirling your life(sumtimes) and give atleast 30 mins of your day to spend your time with "that".
think about it......................helps alot to ehance your character........

for all people in love my first video ;

ur definately love to listen it again and again;